My school - a review

Beijing, China

So, what have I been doing all this time - except for the occasional field trip? 当然学汉语吧 - learning Chinese, of course. Came a long way to do it, too. So, essentially I spent most afternoons (except weekends) at a small language school in Beijing's Haidian District called 地球村学校 or Global Village Language School.
And what's it like? Well, it's been essentially like going back to school. Only that this time I chose to; and I could choose my classes. Classes are generally fairly small with an average of six or seven students (although popular ones have way more than that). Lessons go by text book spending one lesson going over new words for that chapter of the book and a second lesson reading and understanding dialogues and excercises. Lessons are taught entirely in Chinese (I believe most of the teachers speak only little English or Korean). Even though this is a bit daunting at first you get used to it quicker than you think. The teachers I had spoke a very clear standard Chinese. I also believe the school doesn't really encourage the use of other languages so as to make the lessons fair for all students. Often the teachers also encourage having a subject related chat (in Chinese, of course), which can be very interesting depending a bit on your class. In our classes the atmosphere was very relaxed - in a way most students were adults (or close to it), so we could have quite interesting conversations. Then you can still go home and do some homework.
Now, how was the school? I'll answer this by category:
Firstly, some bad news. As you can already see from the website, the school is mainly aimed at Korean students. Information in English is extremely limited. Schedules are only in Chinese (if I could read that I wouldn't be here!). Office staff also don't speak English, so, signing up for my first lesson was an adventure - and I could already speak a bit. Later me and a classmate helped a Western girl, who was completely lost. English might help to broaden their customer base.
Now, there's a small cafeteria with hot and cold food which caters mainly for Korean tastes (if you like it) and is a bit pricy for what they offer (I can reheat food at home, right?).
The study room can be quite crowded - especially before HSK exams, at which time the pressure seems tangible in the air.
Their computer room is functional at best - the machines are old and overloaded with viruses. It hurts any IT guy's heart to see this kind of neglected infrastructure!
Now for the brighter side:
The tuition fees have just gone up - by a whooping 25%! Still, Global Village works out much cheaper than attending a course at university.
And more flexible: you can choose from a range of classes of different levels, classes of the same level are often offered at several times during the day, so you can choose a convenient time. Also, new courses begin every month, so you don't need to arrive at the start of term. If a level or time doesn't suit you just wait for a week or two and see what new classes are put on.
I've saved the best for last, of course: that's the teaching. It out-weighs all possible disadvantages. The teaching I've experienced was simply excellent. Teachers are enthusiastic, well prepared, know their stuff, are patient and thorough making sure every student understands the lesson.
So, my overall impression is that, although there may be some disadvantages to the school, it was well worth every yuan I paid.
So, now that my time here has come to an end, all that is left now is to thank my teachers Ms Peng, Ms Meng and Ms Wu. Special thanks go Ms Peng for being the most beautiful, cutest but also funniest teacher ever. Ms Meng on the other hand really challenged my listening comprehension speaking quite fast but in doing so helped me improve a lot and her lessons always keep you on your toes. They were all amazing at their job. I wish I had had teachers like them back in the days when I had to go to school! It was a joy going to class every day. I hope to be back in Beijing soon and continue my lessons with them. Thanks to them, I'll miss going to school for the first time.
非常感谢你们！我一定会想你们！

Do strange people attract more strange people?

Beijing, China

A guy bumped into me in the restaurant today while I was having dinner with a friend. As I turned to face him a tall, lanky young Chinese man bent down to my sitting level. His clothing looked old, a bit worn maybe, together with his hair shaved at the neck but longer at the top it gave him the appearance of a punk. Not entirely pleasant, especially because when he started talking to me it became obvious that a) he might be drunk or stoned and b) a lot of his teeth were missing. I'm used to random people here trying to talk to me because I'm a foreigner, so I indulged him.
"You're a foreigner", he said in quite good English. "Yes", I answered patiently.
"Deutsch", he shot at me. That had me impressed. Few people ever mention Germany when they try to guess my nationality.
"You are from Munchen", he continued. No. "Frankfurt?" No. "Bonn." Yes, more impressed this time. That was another first. Few people here even know Bonn exists. "When Germany was apart Bonn was the Western capital", he proceeded to explain.
"I know one German rock band", he then announced. This time I actually played along, interested now. "Which one?" "Rammstein." He rolled the r like a Prussian. Wow! He knew even them. He went on to name several of their songs. His German pronunciation was quite good, too.
Then he turned to my friend. "Are you Chinese", he asked in Chinese. She gave me an exasperated look. That happens a lot - she is from Chinese background but not nationality. Hardly anyone gets her nationality right. She shook her head. "Japanese", he continued in English again. No. "Korean?" Those are the usual guesses. Then he changed course: "Malaysian?" No. But now I was curious, so I encouraged him to try again. "Indonesia?" Correct.
"Then you're catholic", he shot at her, "praise God." That was yet another surprise: very few people know that the Chinese minority in Indonesia is largely catholic.
Shortly afterwards he excused himself. "Auf Wiedersehen", he said, again in quite clear German, gave us another toothless smile and left. My friend relaxed.
At first, I didn't think much of it but then she said to me: "That was scary. How could he just guess all these things?" That had me thinking. For the rundown punk he appeared to be his education seemed very good. He spoke quite good English and some German. He knew about a lot of unusual random facts. Also, he seemed incredibly good at guessing things about us. It reminded of things, stories about psychics who just by a look or a touch will know things about you, receive a short insight into your mind. Now, this guy could just have been some crazy punk, alcoholic, homeless; and surely in the 1.5 billion people here there has to be someone who likes Rammstein and is able to guess my nationality. But right there, right then? A less than usual nationality correct at the first try, an unusual, hardly known hometown correct after only two wrong attempts, a band that happens to be my favourite. And the facts about my friend, as well. Thinking about it now it feels not so much as if he was guessing but rather working his way to the truth. Believe in it or not but that conversation now seems very surreal. Even among other strange encounters this one was certainly unique. Just think, what if ...

Servant of the Dynasty

Beijing, China

I've finally got a Chinese name. After countless people have asked for it and subsequently memorised my German one I've finally done it. And I'm actually really happy about it.
With pride I'd like to introduce...
魏天拜
Why this name?
Well, the surname 魏 (Wei) sounds a bit like my German surname. Secondly I like the sound of it. Finally, it has history - like most surnames in China. During the period of the Warring States when seven warlords battled to reunite China one of the kingdoms was the Kingdom of Wei. Later during the period known as Three Kingdoms around 220 AD China again broke into three pieces; one of them was again called the Kingdom of Wei (established by famed general Cao Cao, later ruled by Sima Yi and his descendants).
The given name 天拜 (Tianbai) was actually generated by an online name generator. Now, before you roll your eyes hear me out. The generator picks characters based on the pronunciation of your surname and given name. You can also specify a topic you want your name to be based on (like "intelligence" or "strength", etc.). Now, as it happens 天 (tian) is heaven or sky, 拜 (bai) can be obedience. So, together we loosely have "Obedient to Heaven" or maybe "Servant of Heaven". Tobias on the other hand comes from Hebrew and means "God is good". A good match, isn't it?
Together I also like the sound of the name. So, there it is and let it be known in all corners of the empire!

Table manners - It's the little differences

After watching a Chinese TV show where a few boys tried to compete with each other who best knew Western table manners I realised that technically in the West things are awefully complicated when it comes to eating. There are rules about which set of cutlery to use for which dish, exactly how to hold the cutlery, where to put the napkin, etc. This even differs between different Western countries (e.g. in Italy you can tug the napkin in your collar but in Germany that's a no-no).
In China, on the other hand, all this is more relaxed and I got the impression the focus is more on the eating and enjoying the food rather than how you go about this. It seems in more up-market restaurants it's perfectly OK to spit (or at least deposit) the bones on the table, to burp (or at least belch) contently when you've finished eating or slurp your soup directly from the bowl. You're allowed to bend over the table and bring your face level with your food for convenience. So, the result of this is that when I come home from Asia my family note that I have picked up a multitude of bad habits. But as for me, I feel a lot more at home and relaxed going out for food here.

Bestiary of Foreigners

China is a country that attracts foreigners a lot and attracts more and more of them these days. I mean, hey, I'm here for a reason. People in the Wudaokou area of Beijing will certainly not be surprised to see a Westerner anymore.
In China, though, there are a number of kinds or "subtypes" of foreigners. Let me explain. In Russia, e.g., there are about two kinds of foreigners: mainly the one that speaks Russian and the one that doesn't (and maybe the occasional language student).
Now, in China there are degrees. First, there's the clueless, the tourist - you see them stand in front of signs for extended periods of time trying to match the writing with that in their guide book or note. I guess, to be fair, that's how we all start. Occasionally, you also get the stubbornly clueless - often from English-speaking countries. "Why don't they just speak English?"
Then you have your average language student, who speaks and reads some Chinese and is very proud of it, too. They will, on occasion, be very eager to help translate for lesser types to show off their skills at mastering this difficult language. (somehow I have a feeling this is where I fit in the food chain)
Then there's the proficient language student who speaks and reads fluently - to the great amazement of locals and annoyance of the average student: "why does he get all the attention?"
There's the language teacher - again often from English-speaking countries. This subtype is often very apologetic about their apparent lack of improvement when it comes to learning Chinese: "if I only had more time..." An interesting variant of this one is the teacher from non-standard English backgrounds - be it from "Austroilia" or "Fronce". Makes you on one side pity their poor students (I once had a conversation with a New Zealand teacher who I could hardly understand). On the other hand you wonder if this will result in Chinese people speaking English with an Irish brogue or slight Tsherman aktsent. That would certainly be exotic!
Finally, there's the "I live and breathe China" type. It's not that common but once in a while there's a sighting - like with the Yeti. It's usually a mutation of the above types after staying in China for a prolonged time. Their language proficiency varies. They do commonly have a Chinese name and are proud of it - so proud that they may even choose to forget their real name (this has happened: "what's your English name?" - "没有" [I don't have one]). They will readily (requested or not) dispense insights into this mystical country and its culture that their long sojourn has allowed them to gain. Toward other Westerners they will try to act as Chinese as possible and relentlessly support their new chosen home. Somehow I get the impression that if they didn't continue to stay here they would be completely unfit to return to the rest of the world. I hope I never enter on that dark path or forever will it dominate my destiny.

It's like a war out there - Spring Festival in China

Beijing, China

What I may have missed in terms of celebration or atmosphere during Christmas and New Year was all made up for on 6th of February. Both in significance and scale the Spring Festival - aka Chinese/Lunar New Year - is like Christmas and the Western New Year combined together. It's a time for the family to gather together, eat lots of (homecooked) food, play Mah Jongg, for children to pay respect to their grandparents and receive red packets (small red envelops containing money) in return. Like Christmas in the west this is the time when people overcome their stingy self and spend lots of money - mainly on food and on Mah Jongg. But since it's a time of renewal they also buy lots of other new things. And on fireworks. Yes, this is the time when every foreigner gets a reminder of who invented the stuff.
Starting a few days before the end of the lunar year the sound of firecrackers becomes your constant companion. There are the rockets and single crackers that we also see in the west. Then there are the famous chains that may look small and harmless (if they just have 300-odd members) but when lit produce a staccato like a full-blown machine gun. Believe me: keep your distance. Size matters not! And then you get the single big ones. They pack a boom strong enough to rattle your window and set off car alarms (and probably pace makers) at a distance.
This noise then gets a bit more intense every day until the eve of New Year. Then when you think people must have run out by now, used up their last stashes, it reaches a climax of epic proportions. At midnight that day it's like all hell breaks loose all at once. I've never seen anything like it in Europe - even in a metropolis like London or Berlin. I believe it must be loud of enough to wake up the spirits of the ancestors. And it seems to go on forever. In Europe the big climax normally fades into silence as people run out or get tired. Not so in China. Nobody seems to get tired, so things go on like this for more than an hour. At the same time the atmosphere is electrifying: young and old come outside despite the cold February night to join the fun or at least to watch. Everybody seems happy. So, I couldn't help buying some, as well, and it was great fun to make some noise. And then when my meagre supplies had run out me and my friend just stood outside being amazed.
Then the night is up and you think silence will return. And you're wrong again. New Year festivities carry on for two weeks. The only weeks of the year when it is legal in China to buy or sell firecrackers. People make the most of it. After some time it all becomes background noise. The only thing that remains is quiet amazement at how much money people are willing to spend on this. Big (1000 - 5000) chains of firecrackers easily cost hundreds of RMB. The kids love it, of course.
And then comes the second climax: 元宵节; 15 days after New Year marks the end of Spring Festival. And for one more night all hell breaks loose again as people fire about anything they have left into the air (at least, that was my impression). It goes on for hours. Once more people celebrate and traditionally eat a soup with sweet dumplings: 元宵. And finally, the war is over and almost to my disappointment silence returns - or as much as silence ever returns in a country as lively and populated as China.

哪里，哪里 - Not at all, not at all

Here's another observation about Chinese people. It's a common one made by many foreigners here but it's a very lovable one and it's always worth saying again.
While the Chinese themselves are very humble and reluctant to accept any praise they are very eager to deal it out. The most common example is that of the foreigner that just manages to pronounce the "ni hao" (hello) reasonably correctly. This will most likely earn him a praise of "oh, your Chinese is so good" or "you speak almost as good as Chinese people".
Now, while these days in Western countries it is common to acknowledge a compliment with a polite nod and a "thank you" it is considered polite in China to completely deny the compliment. Still, in areas where foreigners are common people have got used to Westerners' ways of saying "thank you". However, if you counter their compliment with an appropriate "bu hao, bu hao" (not good, not good) or "nali, nali" (not at all, not at all) you're likely to get even more praise for knowing this cultural detail. This happened even from our teachers and even though this habit is commonly mentioned in every textbook. If you then praise your opposite's English or other language proficiency this can lead to interesting exchanges of mutual praising and denying.

This habit and its consequences are nicely illustrated in a (Chinese) joke, which goes like this:
A foreigner who is just learning Chinese is meeting his Chinese friend and his wife. In class the foreigner has learnt that you should praise, so for example praise your friend's wife. So he says: "你老婆很漂亮. (Your wife is very pretty.)"
The Chinese friend, of course being humble, replies: "哪里,哪里. (not at all, but can also mean a question of "where, where abouts")"
So, the foreigner, misunderstanding, responds by pointing at the important parts of the lady's anatomy commenting: "这里漂亮,这里也漂亮... (here she's pretty, here she's also pretty)"

Of course, this habit eventually leads to the fact that you don't take any compliments seriously anymore. I just know my Chinese level is not that good. Still, in other - especially English-speaking - countries people just take for granted that your speak - or try to speak - their language. It's nice to have your ego stroked once in a while.