Damn those little buggers!

Kho Lanta, Thailand

There is a certain disadvantage to the back-to-basics charm of beach chalets. The ones I found here were a real bargain, I think. Little huts lined up just off the beach. The choice wasn't massive anyway since many places have already closed for the low season.
The point is this: For days now I've been looking for the little nut-bracelet that I bought in Luang Nam Tha in Laos. I was so sure I just left it on my bed one morning and went out. Then, in the evening it was gone. Or so I believed. But maybe, I thought, I had actually put it somewhere else. I'd look for it later...
I never thought anything or made any associations when, one time, I came into the room and there was a rat squatting on the wooden beam that runs around the room at mid-height holding the walls together. There we were - man and animal - staring at each other. It was hard to tell who was more surprised. Then I shouted and shooed it away and it disappeared into a gap in the ceiling toward the roof. I wish it had gone outside but at least it was out of sight. And at least it was not a sewer rat.
Then, when I prepared to leave Kho Lanta today I searched my bags for the bracelet. No sign of it. I hadn't put it in any of my bags. Then where could it be? In the end, I pulled the bed aside and found it there in a corner. How had it got there? Only when I picked it up I realised it was in pieces. The string that held it together was torn and some of the black and white nuts were strewn around the floor. They had been gnawed on! And the string wasn't torn but had been chewed! Now it clicked. I hadn't thought those nuts were still edible. The damn rodents had found out fast. So they had dragged the bracelet under the bed to eat it. Which also meant they had been all over the bed to get at it. Ugh, nice! Good thing I normally zip up my backpacks. I wouldn't want them crawling around in there.
I'm quite upset. It's Pakse all over again. It's as if I had learnt nothing. But who'd think there are rats frequenting the rooms? Who'd think that those nuts were edible and not painted with some chemical paint? Grrr! I should have thrown something at the beast when I had it in my sight. That's another souvenir I can't replace.

Clean up Lanta

Kho Lanta, Thailand

The Lonely Planet Southeast Asia writes that on Kho Lanta you can "slip into a beachy existence". They fail to mention that what you slip on is almost obscene amounts of rubbish, ranging from plastic bottles and cups and miscellaneous packaging over discarded slippers and tooth brushes and actually dangerous things like broken glass. It's actually quite sad to see picturesque beaches being despoilt in such a way. I do believe that tourists have a hand in this, leaving their water bottles wherever they were lying. But many packaging suggest items that tourists would have no use for, which in turn suggests that some locals still don't appreciate the beauty of their country and use the beach as a rubbish tip. And that's what it looks like in many places. Even though tourism depends on it. Resorts only clean up within their little sphere of influence. Only in the south of the island where few people live the situation gets better. I think, apart from environmental and purely aesthetic implications people need to understand the business ones, as well. Tourists won't like relaxing on a beach full of rubbish. Maybe that would be a good opportunity to volunteer - but I've thought that so many times already, almost from the very start of my trip. I hope, that people will come to their senses in time to save these beautiful places if not for the sake of saving them then at least to ensure tourists will continue to come here to enjoy them. It would be a real shame to see this island get swamped by waste.

You want spicy? Sure?

Kho Lanta, Thailand

I had my first proper spicy Thai curry tonight. A red curry with seafood. Why is this worthy of ending up here? Well, it's not actually easy to get spicy food here if you're a foreigner. It seems too many Farang (Thai: foreigner) complain about spicyness or specifically don't want it or want it and then find out they really didn't. Or it's just the Thais believe their food is so spicy that no Farang could possibly take it. However this may be, restaurants that cater for foreigners will not put a single chilly into a papaya salad and leave curries tasting depressingly bland. So, I always ask for spicy. People look at me, then go away and bring back food that still tastes of nothing. In the end, to taste anything, I have to ask for extremely spicy (which of course in Thai term isn't). I order my papaya salad with three or four chillies (still nothing to average Thai people eating it with ten or so) and get shocked looks, hesitation - "Very spicy" - I have to assure people that they don't need to worry, I know what I'm doing. Really. Then, they watch me very closely to see if I'll react. I always quote the sentence heard in a small eatery in Xi'an, China, where the shopkeeper commented to a customer (not me) that noodles without chilly don't taste good (“凉皮没辣椒不好吃“）. But today, I just mentioned I liked spicy and the lady that ran the little restaurant went and brought back a fiery red curry. It's good being taken seriously once in a while. Thanks!

Shouting Match

Krabi, Thailand

A number of things have gone wrong today. I still can't get used to the fact that people here try to squeeze as much money out of tourists as possible. The "foreigner pricing" is only one aspect. Another thing that happens here is for mini-buses to drop off tourists somewhere in the middle of nowhere or somewhere inconvenient and then adding an additional fee to where you want to go. For example, you may get dropped off at a travel agency near your destination to choose a hotel but the rest of the transfer is not included. On my way to Railay Beach I witnessed some German tourists argue with the staff about this. In Krabi while going to Kho Lanta it was my turn to see Thai people, who are usually known to be polite, from a very uncharacteristic side. I don't deny that my own attitude was to blame, too.
At the hotel at Railay I thought I had paid for a transfer all the way from Railay Beach to the hotel I had had arranged on Kho Lanta. When the boat set us ashore at Krabi a woman at the travel agency there politely asked me to pay for the rest of my trip. I was surprised, told her about my arrangement but she denied. I had only paid a trip to Saladan, the island's major town. To be taken any further would cost more. I refused. I insisted that my arrangement should have included that, too. She also persisted.
Then things got heated. I don't know what got into me. I felt that after the incident with the other German tourists days back the same thing was happening again - to me. I felt cheated and was furious about it. So I shouted at her. That this was unacceptable. That I had paid for the whole trip and demanded to be taken all the way. She was shocked but still refused. After a short, noisy exchange a man came in. It was probably her husband. She said something to him. He asked me what was going on. I repeated my demands. It doesn't happen often that I blow my top, so I was on an adrenaline high. I don't actually remember much of the exchange until he tore up the payment receipt I had brought, came forward quite menacingly and told me I was not in my own country here. "Shut your fucking mouth", he snarled. At this point I realised that if I didn't back down it would probably come to blows. Was I up to that?
Fortunately, then a new load of young tourists filled the empty office and the confrontation was over. Not another word was said. When the minibus to the island pulled up outside the driver waved me over, too. I got in the back with the other travellers but I was not in a mood to talk. When we got to Saladan the driver stopped but made me understand in a conciliatory tone he would take me further, I just had to pay for it. Even some of the others asked me if I was sure. But my pride was hurt, so I got off and started walking.
Eventually I did let a tuk-tuk driver persuade me to take his ride. It wasn't far and I paid almost as much to him as I would have had to pay to the original driver. But when the sun is down and you don't know the place you haven't got much of a bargaining position. Some great start for this island. Maybe I should just have stayed at Railay.

Long Live the King!

Bangkok, Thailand

It's interesting to spend some time in a real working monarchy. I've been holding off this entry because I wanted to observe this phenomenon in places in Thailand other than the capital.
Having lived in UK for a long time I'm used to the British Royal Family being loved and laughed at at the same time. People will gather in the thousands when the Queen makes an appearance in London but the Royals also often find themselves at the butt end of public scrutiny, criticism, humour even and never being taken entirely seriously.
In Thailand, as I had already heard from the news, this is an entirely different story. Portraits of the King or other royals as well as depictions of the royal crest (see above) are omnipresent, from large banners in the streets to small, framed photos in people's shops and homes. The punishments for offending the King are harsh, e.g. prison sentence for what we may consider a small transgression, like painting a mustache on a portrait of the monarch.
But in a nutshell, people here love the King. And this is not imposed from above. Especially on Mondays (His Majesty was born on a Monday), many people wear yellow shirts to show their loyalty and respect. Many places also have little, for lack of a better word, shrines to the King where people burn incense to show their devotion or at least wai the shrine when they walk past it. It feels almost like a faith in its own right. To the point of being worrying sometimes. In conversations some people will reverently refer to him as "my king". I was told that the government may say what they want, for many Thai people what the King says is what counts. Many people will rather follow his wishes than the government even though the King effectively has little power. People also worry what will happen when he dies one day (he's not the youngest anymore, after all). The crown prince is not too popular, I heard, and people would rather see the second son succeed his father. The seeds for further turmoil in the Land of Smiles have already been sown.

Pussy Acrobatics

Bangkok, Thailand

It's a horrible stereotype. How did I slip into it? Well, I guess it's almost unavoidable. Similar to Amsterdam Bangkok has a reputation for sex shows. I'm even having my nose rubbed in it (figuratively speaking). The home of my friend here is practically next to one of the famous red light districts - if you can call it that. Walk home on the wrong side of the street and dodgy guys will sidle up and offer you porn DVDs, special massages or "ping pong shows". Now, my friend being a local had already explained to me that a ping pong show had nothing to do with table tennis. Rather it was a demonstration of an unusual way for a girl to shoot a ping pong ball from an unusual place. I'll leave the rest to be filled in by imagination.
I bravely resisted temptation and curiosity for days before I gave in.
The place was a bit dodgy, as expected, and had the expected dodgy, foreign patrons. Now I was one, too. The moment you sit down the working girls decend on you for tips. You're a walking wallet in there. Had I forgotten Amsterdam?
There's a difference, though. While sex shows in the Dutch capital are probably best described as "porky on stage" this was more like "pussy acrobatics". It was very creative in a way. The girls could blow out candles, shoot ping pong balls and even darts across the room. Acurately, too. They could hit and pop a balloon several meters away. And they could paint. Guess which part of the female body the above portrait of me was done with. Go ahead. Make a guess.
So I spent the evening having a few (over-priced) drinks and handing out tips. You end up having your arm always curled around one of the almost naked girls and generally feel like a pimp. They even tried to drag me off to the even shadier backrooms for some private time and were surprised to find that I resisted. The old matron at the backdoor gave me a look that suggested she doubted my sanity - or sexual orientation. Doesn't seem to happen often.
Eventually, it grew late, I had spent an embarrassing amount of money and the place closed. Another stage of my journey I can tick off.

• Watch Ping Pong Show in Bangkok: ☑