Checkpoint Nowhere

Cambodia

This has got to be the most deserted, God-forsaken border check point on this trip. A truck took me and a bunch of people from Ban Nakasang near the 4000 Islands to the border. I had booked a trip all the way through to Kratie in Cambodia.
"Book all the way", the ticket seller at the travel shop/book shop/internet cafe on Don Det had said. "At the border it will be very difficult to find a car."
I had thought it was a sales trick. Even on the Laos side of the Chinese border checkpoint there had been a number of tuktuks waiting. Only the general consensus of several travellers made me agree to buy the ticket.
Turns out it hadn't been a trick. The place where the truck dropped us off at around mid-day was in the middle of the jungle or some kind of plantation. There was the road, a house and a booth on the Laos side, a house and a desk on the Cambodian side and a barrier across the road. That was the whole setup. There were no other vehicles - no bus, no tuktuk, not even a bicycle. After unloading our backpacks the Laos truck also took off. For some absurd reason I had assumed we'd go on in that truck. Now that he was gone it was beginning to sink in that there was only one way to go now, so this prior arrangement had better work.
The checkpoint officer greeted us and made us fill in the usual paperwork. Please hand in your filled-in forms and one US dollar. Of course, we all knew where that was going. It was a common story among backpackers. Still, I couldn't help myself.
What was the dollar for, I asked him. He even had small change.
"Office fee", came the smooth reply. You had to hand it to him, he was prepared. You don't pay, you don't get the stamp, so you can't leave the country. Besides, it's not something you want to argue about in the middle of nowhere like here.
Smiling Laos border guards bade us farewell.
The procedure on the Cambodian side was similar. Here, the "office fee" had just been factored into the exchange rate. The visa fee is 30 US dollars. Could we pay in Kip and use up our remaining change? Sure, but at the border the rate is not 8000-something to the dollar but a round 10,000. Sigh. We had no more use for the wad of notes anyway. In Cambodia it'll be easier to calculate again, numbers are not so huge.
Eventually, even the little minivan arrived roughly as arranged (just the promised air-con meant opening the windows). And after waiting a long time for a local guy who appeared from the bushes, dropped some exceedingly heavy sacks (sand?) in the back and sat on the roof for most of the trip we were on our way.

A Word on Visas

In one word: painful. Sadly, they're still a necessity for many countries I will pass through. I think only now I fully appreciate the trouble my Chinese friends have to go through every time they want to travel abroad - especially to Europe or the US. But let fairness be served: Europeans can face the same sort of trouble. You just have to pick the right countries.
Russia is such a one. It has always been complicated - that, so I've read, is a hangover from Soviet times. Thus, normal processing times were long, fees high and there were (and still are) some extra loops to jump through. To apply for a Russian tourist visa you need to present an invitation. This consists of an confirmation of the official invitation issued by a company licensed in Russia and a voucher covering your pre-booked accommodation in the country. There are countless websites that can explain this better than I can; here is one of them. Then, the traveller also needs evidence of a travel health insurance policy with a local insurance company recognised by the Russian embassy. They publish a list and nothing other than those on the list will be accepted.
All this has now become more complicated after Russia recently changed its immigration policies. This was apparently done to simplify entry for certain groups of people, e.g. students on an educational trip now don't require a visa. The net result was, however, that things became a hell of a lot more complicated for everyone else. There is no more express processing. The application takes a minimum of 10 up to 30 days and cannot be made earlier than 30 days in advance. If you require other visas afterwards the general attitude was described as "tough shit". Yaay!
Now Mongolia is expensive but at least simple while China was described as the only country that really adheres to the processing times they advertise.
To make things more interesting you can't just apply for a visa anywhere. The Russian visa can only be applied for at the regional consulate which, fortunately, is Bonn. The nearest Chinese consulate is in Frankfurt - already a bit further afield. The Mongolian visa can only be applied for at the embassy in Berlin.
So much for doing the visas myself. The only options would be to travel to the respective offices (the expensive option) or doing a postal application (insecure). So, I decided to employ a visa agency which handles everything for you - for an additional fee of course. Looks like the convenient, no-hassle option? So I hoped but see what happened to me:
The one I chose was called Visum Zentrale, based in Bonn. It was even recommended to me. So I went there, filled out all the forms and told them I needed the three countries by 19th July. Then I watched one of their staff generously calculating the time it would take on the calendar. "No problem", he said, "there's plenty of time. You'll have it back by around 13th of July." So, I happily left matters in their hands.
The Russian embassy was first and only took a day or so longer than expected. Still lots of time left. Then, almost a week later I got a call from their office in Frankfurt and a high pitched female voice asked me for details about my Chinese visa. That was a bit unsettling - what had they been doing for a week? Well, ok, still got more than two weeks. A week later I had what I think is the same high pitched voice on the phone. It was highly urgent, everything was finished and could they get the passport back to me as fast as possible. A bit confused but vaguely happy I agreed to an over-night courier. When I opened my passport the next day I couldn't find any trace of a Mongolian visa. A phone call brought clarity: the operator had overlooked it but there was still time. They would send another courier on the same day and make an express application - at no additional cost for me. Now I was getting worried and angry; there was only one week left! But off went the passport on the same day, accompanied by more than one prayer.
Today, I called them to check up on the process. The passport was only submitted today because the embassy was closed. They will try to get it back by tomorrow but cannot guarantee it. Did they know my departure day was Thursday? Yes, but still they can't guarantee it. Well, then I won't be able to guarantee payment. By now I've spoken with the Mongolian embassy directly, people were very friendly and patient and confirmed to me the visa was done and ready. It seems it's now only a matter of sending a courier. You'd think the agency won't manage to screw that up. I'll never hear the end of it.
So, now it seems that the very day of my departure is in jeopardy real good old Hollywood style. Cliffhangers and all.

At least, one thing I'll take away from this and I'd like to pass it on to you:
If you need visas done in Germany avoid Visum Zentrale! And don't believe their talk of "no problem"!
And in German:
Falls Ihr Visa benötigt und nach einer verlässlichen Agentur sucht, die die Anträge kompetent in die Hand nimmt, sucht woanders. Vermeidet die Visum Zentrale. Das Gerede von wegen "kein Problem" war für mich nur Rauch.