You're a Winner

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

My grandfather often says: "There's an entire category of people that spend all day thinking about how to best get at your money." I may not like it sometimes but the world keeps proving him right. Here's what happened to me.
I was browsing Bukit Bintang's shopping complexes looking for a suit of a special design that I had fallen in love with years ago on my first visit to Malaysia (apparently that's called the "mandarin collar"). I was just outside Sungei Wang when a young man pushed a leaflet into my hands. I was going to fold it and stow it as "adverts to be thrown away later" when he stopped me asking: "Don't you want to see if you've won anything?" Yeah, why not (as if!). I tore open the secured bit. It said something and that wasn't "better luck next time". All of a sudden the boy became very excited. "You're a winner", he blurted. He couldn't believe it. I couldn't either. This had never happened before, he told me. He'd been here all day and everyone else had just drawn blanks. I was skeptical but then the whole thing might just be a promotion of one of the shopping centres. To support his claim he produced a stack of torn open envelops all of them indeed containing blanks. Mine, he insisted, was a winning ticket. I would now enter a final draw with a minimum guaranteed prize of a short trip to somewhere near Malaysia (worth 10,000 RM), the first prize being a new car worth much more. He waved the listing in my face. I told him I was traveling, I had no use for a car. That was no problem either: there was a cash alternative for all prizes. Now, the first thing to do was to call his boss to confirm the winning ticket. I don't know what made me humour him; maybe it was the vague hope that it might just be legitimate and I might just get something for nothing. Besides I had nothing to loose - as long as I didn't sign anything they couldn't make me do anything. So, moments later I found myself talking to his manager telling her: "yes, it does say 'winner' on the ticket." That done, he said the final step was only to follow him to their offices and collect the prize. Where were their offices? Nearby, we could walk. So we started walking. I noted we were not entering the shopping complex but started making our way around it into a side street. I wondered quietly what their offices would be like.
He was still babbling excitedly about the fantastic prizes that would soon be mine. A thought struck me. To clarify, I told him, I wasn't in the position to buy anything from them. I reminded him I was traveling and had little money. Once again he assured me this was no problem. No purchase was necessary. I would even receive two free promotional items of the company - a vacuum cleaner and another thing I can't remember. I reminded him again of my traveling status. I had no way of transporting those things. "No problem!" His trademark answer. The law just required me to pay tax for these items.
Do you know the moment in comedy films when something goes wrong and the happy music suddenly grinds to a screeching halt? That's what happened to me that moment. I stopped dead in my tracks. It took him a moment to realise I wasn't with him anymore and he came back for me. Tax? How much? 2000 RM but, he continued immediately, that was nothing since I'd still have 8000 RM left of my minimum guaranteed winning. He would repeat this last sentence many more times. He emphasised all the right words like "8000" and "guaranteed". I stopped him again. Why did I have to pay tax for items I didn't want? It was the law, he said. Well, then I should pay it to the government, shouldn't I? No, I should pay it when I collected the prize and the company would transfer the money to the government. I persisted that this was no procedure to pay tax and he insisted that this was the procedure we had to follow. He kept reminding me of the fantastic prizes - to fuel my greed and cloud my judgement, I suspect. He hadn't realised that he had effectively lost me already. I was just interested what else he would try. I suggested the tax be calculated into the prize money and they should just give me 8000 RM. No, that was impossible. I had to pay the tax first. He calculated it in US Dollars for me to show me how little money it really was compared to my winnings. I asked him, did I really look like someone who'd carry that much money in my pocket - in Ringgit or US Dollars?! He suggested almost timidly that I could go to a nearby cash machine and withdraw the money. I didn't have a valid card anymore. He offered waiting while I found a money changer. He really didn't leave anything untried. He gets an A for effort. But this was where I drew the line. It wasn't going down like this, I told him, I was not going to pay anything in advance. Full stop. He grew frantic: But then I couldn't collect my prize. He launched into a description of the fantastic (literally) prizes again. I said it again slowly both in English and in Chinese to make sure he understood. I. Was. Not. Going to. Pay. Anything. In. Advance. Then I turned to leave. He shouted after me. Was I sure? Did I really want to forfeit my prize? I told him I didn't want it anymore. He couldn't believe it. He continued shouting for a while but I stopped listening and continued walking.
I wasn't actually disappointed or angry. I don't think I had believed in the prize in the first place. I had merely confirmed my first impression. The only thing I had lost was a bit of time. I guess these kind of scams exist everywhere. Here, of course, they try to prey on trusty or naive tourists. I wonder if it's worth it. How many people are actually stupid enough to fall for this? Who would pay the "tax" before collecting the "prize"?